🍪 Elon wants more Tesla

Happy Thursday, friends. This is Bite Sized Beta. We’re the guac to your tech news burrito - good with everything and just a little bit spicy. 

California burrito anybody??

We’ve got that spice of life!

Alright now, let’s get to the good stuff.

In the oven this week:

  • 🚗 Elon threatens Tesla’s board

  • 🗳️ Poll of the week: are you hot or cold on Tesla?

  • 🍪 Cookie crumbs: 5 bite-sized headlines 

  • 💬 Tweet of the week: “worse first”

  • 🍫 Chocolate chips: our 3 favorite finds this week

  • 😂 Snickerdoodles: memes for the weekend ofc

FRESHLY BAKED

ELON WANTS MORE TESLA

When you read about Elon in the news, usually half of the time you’re cringing, and the other half of the time you’re in awe. 

Well, this week, he hit us with a doozy:

Elon currently owns about 13% of Tesla (after he sold a large portion of his stake to finance the Twitter acquisition), but wants to get to 25% ownership to have more of a say in how Tesla does AI and robotics. 

He’s even threatening to take his business elsewhere if he doesn’t get his wish.

Cringe or in awe? Kinda both, right? 

An additional 12 percent of Tesla would be worth ~$80B at the current share price, which would more than recoup his whole investment in Twitter (side quest.. maybe?) 

So.. what’s a board to do? 

It’ll be hard for them to comply since they'd have to issue more stock, which would just dilute the value of everyone else's holdings. 

But there’s no way they’ll let Elon just walk away and miss out on all that potential upside. 

He just debuted a Tesla robot folding a t-shirt in slomo after all!

LOL actually though, I’m interested to see what the board comes up with. 

My bet is they’ll do it based on certain business milestones (like part of his comp package), but let’s see if they get more creative. 👀

FROM THE COOKIE JAR

POLL OF THE WEEK: ARE YOU BULLISH OR BEARISH ON TESLA?

Tesla’s had a ton of ups and downs.. they’re slashing prices, getting outsold by Chinese EVs, dealing with Elon’s shenanigans, and their stock price is up >65% in the last year.

So let’s take the temp - are you hot or cold on Tesla?

Sound off 👇🏽

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

A MESSAGE FROM FRAISE

THE BEST SOCKS ON THE MARKET RN

Let’s play a quick game of word association: pickleball, Stanley cups, cold plunges…. what’s next? 

Well if the theme is hot trends, the next word is: pilates. 

Ever see these things?

Looks easy, but let me tell ya - there’s nothing more humbling as a fit dude than joining a pilates class with 20 chicks and getting your butt royally whopped.

Luckily, we’ve got just the thing to help you keep your balance:

Grip socks.

I know what you’re thinking - wtf really, you’re telling me about socks??

White socks?!

But we tested ‘em out for ourselves, and here’s why Fraise’s socks are different: 

  1. They’re not ugly 

  2. They’re made with antimicrobial fabrics, designed to fight the growth of bacteria, mold, fungus, etc. no matter how nasty your feet are

  3. They’ve got a proprietary grip pattern to make sure you’re not slipping and sliding

BITE SIZED HEADLINES

As if Carta's week couldn't get worse from last week's debacle.. now it's getting hit with a new lawsuit from its former CTO. Apparently, Carta had accused him of secretly recording convos with execs, and now he's countersuing, saying Carta’s claims against him were retaliation for surfacing company concerns to the board. He also called their CEO "insecure and narcissistic." Looks like a showdown, break out that popcorn, people! 👀🍿

Remember Artifact? That news curation app created by Instagram’s co-founders last year? Yeah, it’s shutting down. Apparently, they realized the market just wasn’t big enough and wanted to make the tough call earlier rather than later. TBH, we kinda predicted this might happen, but gotta respect that fail fast mentality.

For the fella’s that have a sorta-maybe-Valentine this year, you’re in luck: Sweethearts is coming out with candy hearts that celebrate situationships. All the sayings on the hearts are blurry, and the tagline is, "Messages as blurry as your relationship.” LOL, marketing gold.

THE BIG PIZOOKIE

TWEET OF THE WEEK

“Worse first” and “it’s for the plot” have become my 2 new favorite sayings for when life gets rough.

CHOCOLATE CHIPS

OUR FAVORITE FINDS

SNICKERDOODLES

THURSDAY MEMES

 😂 

 

That's all we got for ya this week, folks. See ya next Thursday!

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